thoughts on "look back"
I watched "Look Back" alone in the cinema for my Artist Date some weeks ago. (I'm doing the Artist's Way by Julia Cameron, but very slowly.) I took out my notebook and started writing my thoughts in the dark, and then I synthesized some of them in a later diary entry, which I'm posting here. It's scattered, as diary entries usually are!
Man, I'm a lot like Fujino. Her drawing comics because, yes, she likes them, but also because she got praised by her friends, was so real lol. She quits when she feels like she can't keep up her identity as being "good at drawing," but finds renewed inspiration to go at it again when Kyomoto reveals how much she loves her work.
Fujino complains that drawing is tedious and not fun. Kyomoto asks, "so why do you draw, Fujino?" – which is followed by a dozen shots of Kyomoto enjoying Fujino's comics, of working on manga with Kyomoto... Fujino draws for that.
I can't explain what that is succinctly. It's making friends, it's moving/stirring someone's emotions, it's making memories + living life alongside one's art (rather than have one be at the expense of another), it's being seen and appreciated and understood. I've only ever done things to connect. I stayed interested in drawing because of my older sister, and then because of my friends, and then, and then...
Ultimately, Fujino loves what she does, I think. But we see that in a world where she didn't meet Kyomoto, she would have quit to live her life. When she says she started drawing manga again, is it because they finally met? Was it something she said in the moment, or would she really have come back to art regardless of their paths crossing? I think it's left vague for a reason.
I draw what makes me happy, but I've only kept making work because I'm lucky to have had my own Kyomotos alongside me for every phase of my life so far. I want to continue to draw, to write, to code, just so I can meet more Kyomotos.
My notes.