the exhausting ordeal of being known (and misinterpreted)
There's this guy at work I don't enjoy talking to simply because he asks me to explain what I mean every time I express anything. It's not in bad faith, and I think he thinks we're on quite friendly terms, but it's frustrating to feel like I have to... tell him all these things?
"What do you mean by you don't care about dating?" (I know he doesn't have an ulterior motive, so it's less annoying than it could be, but it's still annoying.)
"How are you liking the job? Be honest." (Do I really have to follow that directive?)
(After I said I didn't want to talk about something) "Without going into detail, would you say you feel [xyz way]?" (Please don't put words in my mouth! Way to make me boil down my nuanced opinion - that I didn't feel like getting into - into a yes or no answer, to satisfy your curiosity.)
It feels rude not to entertain his questions, because they're seemingly harmless. Plus, I'm an oversharer by nature and so I always respond on instinct.
But I don't owe anyone any information about myself. And I especially don't want to have to share it with people I don't care for, who I can tell won't understand me. Every time I give him an explanation, I'm frustrated by the response I get that makes it clear that what I've expressed has not registered in the way I intended.
Is it a me problem? Am I just bad at explaining myself? I think I just hate being put on the spot and talking to people I don't like. I'm eloquent on my own, when I'm comfortable, around people who get me or at least give me space to be in limbo and not truly know what my stance is.
Maybe it's that. Maybe it's the feeling that a solid, structured opinion is being solicited when I am literally just some guy. I don't fucking know what I think, okay - shit is always changing. And you're not entitled to be the person I tell about it just because you ask.