mei's diary

see you in my dreams

It’s been busy (she says, as if her last post wasn’t only a week ago), but last night I dreamt about my best friend B, and it made me happy.

We were in the same room undergoing some strange dating-type event (never mind that my best friend is not single). Neither of us were particularly interested in anyone but couldn’t pick each other, so we both chose our partners strategically to try and live through the event as painlessly as possible. Afterwards, we went somewhere close by and did a postmortem – something we do after calls and TTRPG sessions with our larger friend group. We talked about the poor man’s David Tennant in our group and B’s weird partner who made them a really elaborate card that B felt burdened by. The conversation was vivid and true to life, and I texted B about it when I got up.

B lives across the world from me, 16 hours behind. The last time we saw each other in person was in early 2023, and before then, 2017. Every now and then I re-realize that unless I move to the US – which I do not really want to do – I will likely never seen them on even a semi-regular basis. There will be years between our in person hangs, which will never be as long as I want them to be. But we call often enough and are both so terminally online that it’s only on my most emotional days that I get wistful about it.

I guess the upside of our setup is that we butt heads less often, since we’re not always in each other’s faces, lol. I don’t know how we would deal with seeing each other often and in person... Our frame of reference – high school! – is sorely outdated. I run the hypothetical scenarios in my head sometimes, trying to see if our friendship would suffer or thrive in closer proximity, but it’s a nothing problem that just causes me stress so I’ve decided not to think about it, lol. (B does this too.)

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But still, my hope is that when we are old, or maybe even sooner (whatever life permits), we can live close by and see each other often. Even getting to hang out with them in my dreams has made me so happy I could cry!


I’m halfway through my teaching clinical practice and feeling a lot of dread, so here’s a list of good things recently:

#daily #friends