move fast now or never (dear k)

17 Jan, 2024

Dear Kayla,

I titled the post "Dear K" since yours was "Dear Mei" and I thought it would be cute if we rhymed. :) This post is dedicated to you.

(Also, I've been meaning to listen to Lola Amour for a while and am pleased that you're the reason I give them a listen!)

I've been intentionally keeping personal information off my blog, including where I live. (As far as anyone's concerned, I'm American. Yeehaw.) There are a multitude of reasons I do this – some sensible and some motivated by paranoia – but I'm so happy I got to meet a friend from Bear that I am breaking my own rule just this once¹!

the planning

Kayla and I made plans to hang out during a layover she would have between visiting family and returning to her place after the holidays. She sent me an email about it, and I was immediately very excited but also already doing the calculations in my head to see if it was physically and temporally (?) feasible.

There is no cool fun place in our airport for two people to hang out, especially not if only one of you is flying. I was unfamiliar with any possible hangout areas around the airport either, or how to get to them. And my weekly class also happened to fall on the day we were to meet up, leaving us with maybe thirty minutes of hangout time, forty at most, before I would have to leave. (I was prepared to skip class, but Kayla stopped me lol.)

Another option was for her to come to me, which I worried was a lot of effort on her part—and incredibly risky given the soul-crushing traffic conditions where I live, especially at the time we were going to meet. I've not been anywhere else with equally shitty traffic and similar "time spent sitting in your car waiting to get there" + "actual distance" ratios², and feel insane whenever I try to describe this cartoonish level of traffic to someone who doesn't live here.

Pictured: The scribbly visual I drew up and sent Kayla to assist her in deciding whether or not the hang was worth the trouble.

After I gave this information to Kayla, I was prepared for us to sigh and sadly kick rocks about the impossibility of things, but was pleasantly surprised when she said she was down to meet anyway, however short our hang or however close she would cut it.

It's not very hard to be more adventurous than my hermit ass, but I was still amazed and inspired by this choice. Having come from a family that will not risk even being just on time to things (early or bust!), I hadn't even considered "fuck it we ball" an option. I felt – not for the first time – that I was lucky to have friends so much cooler and more daring than myself, who would say yes to things I would flip-flop on if not for their influence and contagious hope for things to turn out okay.

(Am I reading too far into it?) (No! My friends are cool!)

I was still nervous, but was looking forward to the hangout with the same hope.

the execution

I got to our meetup spot early, still working on an assignment on my phone when Kayla let me know she'd arrived after an (unsurprisingly) long commute. We hugged and headed to a nearby boba shop I loved.

I'd never been to this particular branch in person, but assumed I would know how to get there since it was right across the mall. I was quickly humbled by the fact that I did not, and we ended up asking a friendly security guard to help us cross the street.

First meetings with friends always make me nervous. I don't think anyone is immune to that, but I'll even get nervous meeting friends I've met many times before (exhibits A and B). I've learned to conduct myself well in social settings, but will often be internally blacked out and operating on autopilot, later returning home with only a foggy recollection of the conversations I had.

But Kayla and I had such a fun time talking at the boba place, and I actually recall most of it! (A win against my social anxiety, and a testament to Kayla's warm and reassuring presence.) I was probably still a little blacked out up until we actually sat down with our boba, but we both calmed down and enjoyed a proper hang not long after that.

We chatted about our lives and got to know each other better, asking about deets and fun stuff that don't always make it to our blogs. Kayla even showed me the exclusive and very unsettling fan-edit a non-friend made of her (it's exactly as she described it in the post) and we both cringed and laughed about it. Truly horrifying stuff.

I felt a little sad that we only had the thirty minutes before we both had to leave, and regretted the circumstances that made our hangout so short. Curses to the traffic and my education. Before we parted ways, I gave Kayla some printed matter and she brought me some tasty pasalubong from where she was staying with her relatives.³

After an absolute speedrun of a hang, we walked back to our original meetup spot where the car she booked was already there to take her to the airport, and hugged each other goodbye. Kayla promised she'd be back for more than a five-hour layover next time, and I promised to research cool young people places⁴ to take her to then.

I realized only after we parted ways that we forgot to take a picture!!! (Not that it would have made it to the blog, but for memory's sake...!) Gah! That "next time" has got to happen.

I ended up getting home a little later than expected + skipping my class anyway. While I was having dinner with my sister, Kayla texted me a picture of her making a peace sign and said she'd gotten to her gate mere minutes before boarding call. WILD. I laughed and told my sister, who was equally as impressed + bewildered.

My family does this thing every new year where we go around saying our wishes for each other. One of the wishes I received this year was to meet up with more people and say yes to more social engagements. In my brother's words, "You always talk about how worried you are about some meet-up, but then you go, and you come home feeling really good about it." Everyone agreed.

I felt a little silly knowing that my family has been forced to watch me put on the same theatrics time and time again, but I'm kind of pleased to learn this from them too! It means I can safely shush some of my anxieties about meeting people, knowing I have a pretty good history of having a good time. If my meetup with Kayla is any indication of what my hangs for the year will be like, I'm way on board. It was so much fun – almost like a mini-adventure. I'd never speedrun a hang before, and was happy that I did it with someone who was as determined to enjoy time with a friend as I was, time limit be damned.

I loved meeting up with you, Kayla! I have so much fun reading your adventures on your blog but getting to hear them firsthand is even more fun. You are a delight to talk to and I wish we could have chatted for longer – I know we could have just kept going if the time permitted. Thank you for being patient with me when I led us into some plants thinking I knew the way to the boba shop LOL. We'll see each other again for sure! I'll be rooting for you and your adventures from here until then.

Hugs (virtual this time),

Mei

P.S. The title is from Settled by The Ransom Collective, another local band. It's got a very adventure-y feel to it!

#friends