everything to smile about in my life!
I've been quite happy lately, so I thought I'd record this point in time for me to always remember!
if i can get taylor tix i can do anything
Taylor Swift recently announced her international tour. This both excited me and stressed me out: She wasn't going to be in my country, but in the past few years I've really stepped up from casual fan to "I need to see her live or I'll die." I also think the idea of the Eras tour – taking songs from each of her albums since she debuted – is so lovely, and it would feel very fulfilling to see, as someone who's never seen her live but enjoyed her music through each of the eras.
After assembling a strike force and doing extensive research on ticket acquisition in three different countries, I'm happy to say I managed to secure tickets for myself, my siblings, and my sister-in-law's friends for one of the Australia dates! 🎉
I summarized this endeavor in a single sentence just now, but I need you to know getting those tickets was no joke. SO many people wanted them, so I knew I needed to be smart about it. I made a planning document, researched extensively1, and equipped the strike force with exactly only the knowledge they needed to know so they wouldn't feel overloaded. It was a level of organization and management I last felt capable of doing when I was in high school, preparing college applications.
It's a little embarrassing to say, but nabbing these tickets was something of an ego boost. There were a lot of things that were pure dumb luck, like how in the end, out of all of us queuing online, my device was the first (and second2) one to get through. But I still couldn't help but feel rewarded for my extensive prep. There were setbacks (we queued for four hours for the first release of tickets, to no avail) and a few moments during the timed checkout that could have caused panic, but in those moments I felt a cold sense of calm wash over me, like I was confident we would get it regardless of Whatever. And we did!
I'm honestly kind of happy I got to be the person to nab all our tickets, because I had full control over micro-decisions that I know I would have wanted control over, like resetting the seats the site automatically gives you. (We ended up getting tickets in the same exact section, only a few seats apart, by pure luck!) One day I'll unpack this need to get everything the exact way I want it, but for now I'm just reeling from the high of getting everything the exact way I want it.
I'm going to see Taylor!!!
it takes a village
Of course, this whole Eras tour thing would have been impossible without my family. They made accounts on the appropriate websites (or let me make accounts for them) and sat on their laptops with me on each registration and sale day.
The fact that I get to travel to another country at all, for a concert no less, is an opportunity I know not everyone gets – and all thanks to my parents, who saw me grow increasingly invested in Taylor's music over the past few years and decided to support that enthusiasm. They're excited now too, to begin planning a family trip around the concert.
I'm happy my siblings are also fans, and I get to experience this with people I love. All in all, I feel insanely lucky! ❤️ I'm already prepping for February!
channeling twilight sparkle
I went out to see Across the Spiderverse (so good) for the third time (so good!) with a coworker who's resigning today. We've never really hung out one-on-one in a non-work context, so inviting her was kind of a big step, but based on past interactions I knew it would be a good time. And it was! She brought me some stuff from her trip to Japan, and I gave her a little drawing of her favorite Genshin character to wish her luck on her post-corporate life.
Stuff I got from her!
She's taking a breather before applying to some courses in Japan, so she'll still be around. She seemed excited when I said we should hang out again, which makes me happy! Since coming home from college, I've been uneasy about how small my circle is here – I essentially have just my high school friends, but they've all been able to spread out to their different friend groups and lives they built having gone to college here. Slowly I've been making new friends though, and each new one is so exciting!
the name of the game is SELF-INDULGENCE
And finally, I finished a huge backlog of commissions that had been weighing down on me for months. For someone who takes commissions, I don't actually really like doing them – my art is, for me, more of a healing, indulgent thing, and so drawing for any reason besides "I personally want to see it" is a bit like pulling teeth. But I like making people happy and sometimes I need a quick buck, so it happens.3
I'm also not in any particular fandom at the moment, which has happened before but is always kind of a weird point to get to. Usually fanart makes up the bulk of what I draw because I'm fixated on the source media – as a result, I don't often think about my own characters or worlds, so when I get to a point where I have the brain space for it, I'm out of my depth.
Now, in this interim period where I'm not working to meet a deadline or intensely obsessed with a video game cast, I'm doing a lot of reflecting. I wonder if I do things like take commissions or draw fanart to procrastinate on paying attention to my original ideas, because I'm worried they aren't worth paying attention to. I wonder why I don't draw for myself more when I know that's how I have the most fun.
...Fear of cringe, I guess. Or the need to know for sure that my work will be enjoyed by other people. "Because otherwise, what's it for?" says the silly little voice in my head.
(It's for me, idiot!)
But for the first time in a while, I care so much about my original characters. I want to think about them and draw them all the time. July is Zine Month, and I'm so excited to use it as an excuse to draw them even more.
The reason behind this sudden change is that lately I've been surrounding myself with people who make art they want to make, without thinking about it being palatable or cringe or easy to like, and who encourage others to do the same. I'm happy to have landed in this space just in time for that interim period.
After spending too much time in an algorithm-dictated space among people just trying desperately to be noticed, I've forgotten what it was like to be in a place where what was most important was that the thing you made was made with love. But now I remember. I want to keep finding places like this wherever I go!
Eugh, my posts are always crazy long. That's what I get for waiting until I have "enough to say" before I log on and post. Newsflash, me: You talk a lot. Even if you wanted to just talk about one thing, you would have enough to say.
But anyway! I'll give myself a pass since this is a happy post, and if I'm going to talk a lot, I'm glad it's about happy things in my life. I have a lot to smile about!
Notes:
AKA scoured TikTok and Twitter for tips. But honestly, I think knowing how to search for things on Twitter is a skill.↩
There's a ticket limit of four per person, and since we're six, at least two people would have had to get through.↩
I'm also quite grateful that, despite however I feel about doing commissions, I'm always able to find work, or have it find me even when I'm not looking for it.↩